Lance for President

Tony Kornheiser rants against cyclists on his ESPN radio show. That includes "jokingly" suggesting that drivers hit cyclists with their cars.

Lance and his fans get wind and and start a viral campaign against Kornheiser.

Kornheiser grovels to Lance and invites Lance on his show to apologize. Tony promises no more rants and even agrees to ride a bike for the first time since childhood.

Lance goes on the air to a market of bike haters, and gets their biggest rabble-rouser to denounce his former ways to his fans.

I'm convinced Lance could bring about peace in the Middle East. He might even be able to bring Republicans and Democrats together on health care, but that's probably beyond even his powers.