Slap Happy

In France they just enacted a new law that bans so-called "happy slapping". Anybody who films and distributes images of acts of violence can be convicted, with penalties of up to five years in jail and about $100,000.

Boy am I in trouble. My link to a David Bowie video (banging on not just six strings, but twelve!). My image of Stephen Colbert being eaten by a bear. My pictures of Donald Rumsfeld and Ward Churchill facing off with assault weapons. Shots of violence against puzzles. Not to mention my photos of aspens exploding with color.

I sure don't want to end up in some dark, dank, drab French prison with the despicable likes of the Marquis de Sade, Voltaire, and Thomas Paine. There's only one way out of this. The new law makes an exception for professional journalists.

That's right, professional journalists get to show as many gruesome videos as they like. I figure all I have to do is have at least one advertisement on my blog to make me a professional. So, here it is:

The Bastille!
Come for the censorship, stay for the french fries

There I did it, I finally sold my soul! Someone please bake me a cake.